Ok, so this one is a bit weird, a bit depressing, and a bit too long. But stick with it until the end, it’s worth it.
Archive for August, 2007
Life in Drag
Friday, August 24th, 2007I can see what she’s doing…
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007But I have no idea what she’s saying
Sexed-up seniors do it more than you’d think
Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007Ewwwww.
From MSNBC
An unprecedented study of sex and seniors finds that many older people are surprisingly frisky — willing to do, and talk about, intimate acts that would make their grandchildren blush.
That may be too much information for some folks.
But it comes from the most comprehensive sex survey ever done among 57- to 85-year-olds in the United States. Sex and interest in it do fall off when people are in their 70s, but more than a quarter of those up to age 85 reported having sex in the previous year.
Dwarf Glues Penis to Hoover
Sunday, August 19th, 2007A show called Circus Of Horrors lived up to its name when a dwarf accidentally glued his penis to a vacuum cleaner.
Captain Dan The Demon Dwarf was taken to hospital when he became stuck to the the machine after misreading superglue instructions.
The 42-year-old pulls the vacuum across the stage with his manhood at the Edinburgh Fringe production.
Its attachment came loose before a performance so he tried to glue it back on.
He left it to dry for 20 seconds rather than 20 minutes – and it stuck to him when he tried it out.
‘It was the most embarrassing moment of my life,’ he explained. ‘When I got wheeled into a packed A&E on a wheelchair with a Hoover attached to my willie, I just wished the ground could swallow me up.’
Staff at the Royal Infirmary of Edinburgh managed to remove the attachment after an hour.
A Dirty Trick
Sunday, August 19th, 2007I’m all for trick plays in sports, but this one just reeks of bad sportsmanship.
If you got stung in the ass by a bee over the weekend, please read
Monday, August 6th, 2007This weekend I was talking to a friend over the phone. My friend was on his IP-based home phone, I was on my shiny new iPhone. In the middle of our conversation there was a loud static screetch and then an evil sounding belly laugh. The laugh was not my friend’s though. It was a middle aged man who was apparently unaware that two dorks were now listening in on his conversation.
I said “Hello?”, and I heard my friend say “Hello?”, then he hung up. Left on the line were me, a middle aged guy and another person’s voice, which was garbled to the point I could not understand. They could not hear me. The man finished his belly laugh and then said “Yeah, my wife got stung on the ass by a bee!” The other person said something I could not understand and the man followed with another laugh, and then “Yeah, I’m sure I’ll be rubbing that tonight!”. He then exchanged goodbye’s with the other person and hung up.
Can anyone explain this? How was I hearing someone else’s conversation? Who was the woman he was talking to? Does the man’s wife have a nice ass? Was she at a picnic? Did said man rub said woman’s bum?
Now that this unknown man has shared a tiny bit of his life with me, I’m thirsting for more, and I’m willing to pay for it.
If anyone out there knows of a woman who got stung in the ass over the weekend, send them this way. I am offering one pound of delicious silly putty to whoever can point me to the belly laugher and his sore arsed wife. Spread the word, help me finish this story, get some free silly putty.
Most Uncomfortable Interview Ever
Monday, August 6th, 2007Tom Green gets very annoyed at a guest who chain-sawed his desk in an unplanned stunt.
The chainsaw-guitarist is Jesse James Dupree from the rock band Jackyl.
