One word: Uncomfortable to watch.
And now some phrases:
‘looks disinterested’,
‘big heels hinder mobility’,
‘belly not flat’,
‘did not actually perform anything’,
’still would hit’,
‘better than Yoko’
The star of my favorite show “Little People, Big World” (I shit you not, this IS my favorite show) was arrested last month for driving under the influence. Rolloff, who initially told police his name was “Willow” failed a field sobriety test of following the yellow line road while singing “We represent, the lollipop guild”. He was then taken to jail, given a citation, and then released.
Seriously, no midget jokes here. “Little People, Big World” is a great show, and Matt Roloff is a great family man. This is a sad day, and I don’t want any of you internet assholes to disrespecting the man. Since little poeple are smaller than the rest of us, it’s not fair that they have to follow the same sobriety rules as the rest of us. We are denying them the right to drink as much as a normal-height person. I hope a judge realizes this and lets him off easy. And don’t worry, you anti-drunk-driving zealots, Amy will nip this thing in the butt.
Doctors found no cancer in the five small growths removed from President Bush’s colon, the White House said Monday.
The growths, called polyps, were found during a routine cancer scan that Bush underwent Saturday at the Camp David presidential retreat. Examinations showed the growths were benign — in line with the White House’s expectation that none of the five polyps appeared “worrisome.”
“The president is in good health,” Bush spokesman Tony Snow said. “There is no reason for alarm.”
A genetic syndrome has left Illinois resident Dawn Larson without hands, fully developed arms, or McNuggets.
Larson, who is kind of hot, has learned to lead a full life by using her feet. She’s even able to drive, but inexplicably has a Camero.
She says she’s never had a problem in public until she went through a McDonald’s drive-thru in Rockford last fall. Normally, Larson first gives the cashier her debit card to pay for the order, grabs the food and drink with both feet, and then spends the next 3-4 hours shitting.
But at McDonald’s she said they took her money at one window but wouldn’t give her the food at the next window. Larson says she felt degraded and constipated.
Video here
Mexican tycoon Carlos “Not So” Slim is the world’s richest Speedy Gonzales fan, worth an estimated $67.8 billion, after overtaking noted Tweety Bird aficionado Bill Gates, according to a respected tracker of Mexican cartoon tycoons.
A 27% surge in the share price of America Movil, Latin America’s largest cell phone operator controlled by “Not So” Slim, from March to June made him close to $8.6 billion wealthier than Gates, said Eduardo Garcia in Sentido Comun, the online financial publication he founded.
A child’s tantrum onboard a Delta commuter flight forced a pilot to make an emergency landing at Philadelphia International Airport.
Chopper 10 was over the scene.
The forced landing was caused by a fight over apple juice.
A 4-year-old wanted apple juice and when the stewardess didn’t get it quick enough, the child threw a tantrum, NBC 10 reported.
The Delta commuter flight landed around 5 p.m. Tuesday.
The flight originated in New York and was headed to North Carolina before the incident.
Passengers were spending the night in Philadelphia, NBC 10 reported.
Authorities said there would be no charges filed in the incident.
This is why I hate Delta. They never have apple juice when I want apple juice, dammit. It’s always “Do you want some orange juice, instead?”
No, if I wanted effin orange juice, I would have asked for some effin orange juice. I just brushed my teeth, I have some herpes sores on my lips, and you want me to drink orange juice? Screw you guys.
I applaud this brave young man for standing up for his rights. He is Ron Paul on Sesame Street, Ralph Nader in a high chair, Jesse Jackson in big boy pants, speaking out for his rights as well as the rights of others. Take heed, Delta, we demand free access to apple juice, and we aren’t shutting up until we get it.
PHILADELPHIA - Earl Hartman was a little rattled by something he says he found in a can of green beans: a snake head. The Philadelphia man said he found the inch-long head on his plate Wednesday night, right between a chicken breast and buttered noodles. He said it came out of the green bean can.
“When I sat down, I noticed something didn’t look right,” Hartman told WCAU-TV. “It didn’t look like a green bean.”
Hartman said he called the Pathmark store where he bought the beans, and got a call back from Seneca Foods in upstate New York, where the vegetables were canned.
Rich Savner, a spokesman for Carteret, N.J.-based Pathmark Stores Inc., told Mr. Hartman that he had purchased Seneca’s new “Beans and Snakeparts” product. Hartman confirmed Savner’s suspicion by checking the label of his can.
“Sure enough, there it was. The can shows a snake coiled up on top of a large pot of baked beans.” said Hartman. “I’ll have to read the lable more closely next time.”
Seneca foods has introduced the Beans and Snakeparts product in response to the large obesity problem the United States currently faces. Snake meat is one of the only meats known to be high in protein and antioxidents, while being extremely low in fat. Seneca’s snakes are raised in a controlled environment and are fed high protein corn meal as well as cow meat. Seneca stresses that their snakes do not eat mice or rats.
Benjamin Carpenter, 21, was crossing a Michigan highway in his wheelchair when he became stuck in a semitrailer’s grille and pushed for miles before the unknowing driver was pulled over, police said on Thursday.
Carpenter escaped unharmed, saying, “It was quite a ride,” police said.
Carpenter was attempting to cross on Wednesday when the light turned green and his wheelchair became hooked onto the front grille of the truck, which reached 50 mph during the 4-mile trip down Red Arrow Highway, Michigan State Police Trooper Michael Sinke said witnesses reported.
Carpenter was taken to a hospital as a precaution. He had been secured to his wheelchair by a seat belt.
Witnesses reported that the light turned green, so the truck took off, never seeing the wheelchair in front of him or the fact that it had attached to his front grill. When officers stopped the truck at a private business, Carpenter was in a calm state.
“The man spilled his soda pop, but he wasn’t upset,” said Sgt. Kathy Morton of the Michigan State Police.
Sinke said when he arrived at the scene, the man told him “‘Yeah, I’m fine. I just went for a little ride.’”
“He was surprisingly normal,” Sinke said.
About 4 p.m. Wednesday, a caller told police dispatchers, “You are not going to believe this: There is a semi truck pushing a guy in a wheelchair on Red Arrow Highway,” state police said in a release.
Authorities initially wondered whether the report was a prank call until others called with similar reports.
When the truck finally was stopped, the driver didn’t believe officers until he stepped from his cab and saw for himself.
“When he saw us, he was like, ‘What’s going on?”‘ Morton said.
“The truck driver had no idea,” Sinke said. “[He] was in a state of shock.”
Paw Paw Police Department Office Manager Susan Millek said their department got the initial call around 3:30 p.m. and Sgt. Kirk Goodrich and officer Tim McMeekan responded to the call. McMeekan said the incident was labeled a car pedestrian accident and he was prepared for a scene much worse than what he found.
“We were obviously relieved and shocked to see what happened,” McMeekan said.
He said the family was notified within a few minutes and because the man is an adult, the department called to have someone pick him up.
Officers who responded to the scene said the fact that the man was unharmed made this story that much more unbelievable.
“Just the way he was uninjured. It’s just unbelievable,” Sinke said. “Obviously someone was looking over him yesterday. I could go another hundred years in law enforcement and never see that again.”
LA City Attorney Rocky Delgadillo has filed a motion for a hearing before Judge Michael Sauer to argue that LA Sheriff’s Department let her go before her sentence was up, something Judge Sauer said would not happen.
Paris Hilton was released this morning after serving three of her 23-day sentence because of an undisclosed “medical condition” (herpes and chlamydia) which LA City Sheriff’s Department says it cannot divulge.
Outrage has been spreading across LA and the country after news hit early this morning that Paris Hilton’s sentence was reduced to a house arrest in which she would serve her original 45 days, with five days already served.
NEW YORK (AP) — A man has sued the maker of the health drink Boost Plus, claiming the vitamin-enriched beverage gave him an erection that would not go away and caused him to be hospitalized.
The lawsuit filed by Christopher Woods of Manhattan said he drank the nutrition beverage, which is made by the Novartis pharmaceutical company on June 5th, 2004.
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