OftenWrong.net

A man cut off his own head with a chainsaw after stabbing his 70-year-old father to death in their apartment in the German city of Cologne, police said.

The body of the offender, 24, was found headless when police raced to the apartment after an emergency call, apparently from the dying father, had been broken off in mid-sentence.

Alf Willwacher, a senior prosecutor, said an electric chainsaw was next to the son’s body.

“We do not believe any third party was involved,'’ he said.

Neighbours said the father and son had been reclusive since the death of the mother, allegedly by suicide, several years ago.

via the Sydney Morning Herald

Wait… he what??? By Himself??

Can anyone else figure out how this could even be possible, especially with an ELECTRIC chainsaw??

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TOKYO - Japan’s leading toilet maker Toto Ltd. is offering free repairs for 180,000 bidet toilets after wiring problems caused several to catch fire, the company said Monday.

The electric bidet accessory of Toto’s Z series caught fire in three separate incidents between March 2006 and March 2007, according to company spokeswoman Emi Tanaka.

“Fortunately, nobody was using the toilets when the fire broke out and there were no injuries,” Tanaka said. “The fire would have been just under your buttocks.”

The company will repair 180,000 toilet units manufactured between May 1996 and December 2001 for free, she said. A manufacturing defect is thought to have led to the faulty wiring.

Toto has been a pioneer in high-tech toilets fitted with pressurized water sprayers — a standard fixture in Japanese homes.

The popular Z series features a pulsating massage spray, a power dryer, built-in-the-bowl deodorizing filter, the “Tornado Wash” flush and a lid that opens and closes automatically.

Prices range from $1,680 to $2,600. The model is not sold overseas.

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When I was six years old I went over to my classmate Walter’s house and I had to poop. As I was finishing up Walter stormed into the bathroom for an unknown reason. He stopped suddenly still clutching the door, his eyes widening and his jaw dropping. Then he started screaming. However, what he was horrified at was not what you would expect one who just entered an occupied bathroom to be horrified at.

Walter was yelling “You’re supposed to pull up your pants and THEN flush the toilet!! You got it wrong! You’re supposed to pull up your pants THEN flush the toilet!! You got it wrong!”

More yelling was followed by many tears. Walter was inconsolable for a some time and his parents decided to cut our play date short and take me home.

Ok, so that story popped up in my mind when I read this story Wedding Gowns for Pregnant Brides. People must have forgotten or never been taught that, much like I should have pulled up my pants and THEN flushed the toilet, your supposed to get married THEN have babies!

I’m not pushing abstinance before marriage, just wear a rubber or take the pill. You get married once you have decided that you are able to stomach the other person for life. If you are unable to make that commitment then you shouldn’t have kids!!

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But perhaps the most alarming ingredient in a Chicken McNugget is tertiary butylhydroquinone, or TBHQ, an antioxidant derived from petroleum that is either sprayed directly on the nugget or the inside of the box it comes in to “help preserve freshness.” According to A Consumer’s Dictionary of Food Additives, TBHQ is a form of butane (i.e. lighter fluid) the FDA allows processors to use sparingly in our food: It can comprise no more than 0.02 percent of the oil in a nugget. Which is probably just as well, considering that ingesting a single gram of TBHQ can cause “nausea, vomiting, ringing in the ears, delirium, a sense of suffocation, and collapse.” Ingesting five grams of TBHQ can kill.

via Al Nye The Lawyer Guy

And here is the Anatomy of a McNugget, you know, for the kids.

via MikeThePod.com

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A few days ago, I put my name on a message to Congress about global warming via Al Gore’s website:
http://www.algore.com/cards.html

Today I got this email from his website:

Thank you!

By 10:00 AM yesterday, as I took my seat in the hearing room, an incredible 519,414 people had signed our message to Congress demanding immediate action to solve the climate crisis.

All of those boxes chock full of your messages, sitting right next to me as I testified, were a fantastic show of support and one that is already having an impact as our Representatives and Senators begin to debate solutions to the climate crisis. In fact, so many people signed our message in the 24 hours before the hearing, we are still working on printing them. But don’t worry, Congress now knows that you have spoken, and I will personally make sure every last message is delivered.

What?!?!? He’s printing them? 500,000 of them? Printing… on paper?

As the graphic below shows, a ream of paper (500 sheets) is about 2 inches high. So, 500,000 sheets is 2,000 inches. That’s about 170 feet of paper, assuming they are stacked stright up.

This seems like quite an environmentally unfriendly way to get a environmental message across. Kind of like a bon fire to protest smog conditions in L.A. Way to go, Al.

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Prayers have been answered and much rejoicing was heard today from the basement apartments occupied by foot fetishists across the globe. A well formed nipple was found to have grown on the sole of a 22 year old woman’s foot. Some of the rejoicing was considerable subdues when it was revealed that the nipple is surrounded by hair.

full story via Dermatology Online Journal

A summary of the best and most immature comments from Digg:

And the pictures below (possibly NSFW):
(more…)

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They might not be able to help if you forget your Pin, but these dogs can get your money out without paws-ing for thought.

The pooches are among an army of ‘assistance dogs’ who have been trained to withdraw money from cash machines for their disabled owners.

They are adept at inserting and withdrawing cards at ATMs to help owners in wheelchairs who are often not able to stretch far enough to do it themselves.

A spokesman for charity Canine Partners, which trains the dogs, said: ‘They put in the card and take it out and take out the money and give it to the person in the wheelchair.

‘They can’t put in the Pin but a person in a wheelchair can go sideways on and do that.’

via Metro.co.uk and
Gizmodo

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“The data for rodents seem pretty clear cut,” said study author Steve Ramm, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Liverpool, UK. “Species where sexual competition between males is most intense also tend to have the longest penises.”

Dr. Ramm continues “This discovery is incredibly depressing for me. My penis is smaller than the average rat’s… but I’m a grower not a shower.”

Via PhysOrg.com

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…The cemetery is the site of Texas’ most famous UFO crash. On April 16, 1897, six years before the Wright brothers made history at Kitty Hawk, a cigar-shaped object crashed into a windmill here. Some say an alien inside the craft survived the crash. Others say it died and the townspeople here gave it a proper Christian burial.

via Houston Chronicle

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When the financial markets have a rough spell, it certainly concerns me. A long bear market might jeopordize my job, it might affect the value of my house, and it even shows on the bottom line of my meager 401k and Etrade accounts. However, when you don’t have a lot of money, you can’t loose a lot of money. I can look at a day like today, when the markets were down around 3.5%, with interest and awe instead of nervousness and fear.

I don’t know what it’s like to have a million dollars, let alone hundreds of millions, but I can only imagine that no one enjoys seeing wealth evaporate as it did today, with the fear that it could possibly get worse.

So I present to you the following table of some high profile executives and how much paper wealth they lost today. I understand these are just meaningless numbers, however I can only imagine that there are quite a few financially well-off folks out there sweating a major market correction like we saw just six years ago. During the DotCom boom and bust, countless individuals watched their wildest dreams come true as they ammassed a fortune in stock options, only to see those fortunes disappear before they exercised them.

(more…)

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