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Wednesday, March 28th, 2007Environmental Group Captures Huge Toad, Kills It
Tuesday, March 27th, 2007DARWIN, Australia - An environmental group said Tuesday it had captured a “monster” toad the size of a small dog.
With a body the size of a football and weighing nearly 2 pounds, the toad is among the largest specimens ever captured in Australia, according to Frogwatch coordinator Graeme Sawyer.
“It’s huge, to put it mildly,” he said. “The biggest toads are usually females but this one was a rampant male … I would hate to meet his big sister.”
As part of its so-called “Toad Buster” project, Frogwatch conducts regular raids on local water holes, blinding the toads with bright lights then scooping them up by the dozen.
“We kill them with our onnoxious Australian breath, stockpile them in a big freezer and then put them through a liquid fertilizer process” that renders the toads nontoxic, Sawyer said.
He continued “I hate toads and all they stand for. ”
via MSNBC
Alleged ‘Wedgie’ Hazing Sends Boy To Hospital
Monday, March 26th, 2007Two Georgia teenagers were recently arrested in connection with what one student’s mother said was a high school hazing ritual, according to WJXT-TV.
The woman said members of the Charlton County High School golf team gave her son a contusion so painful she had to take her 13-year-old to the emergency room for treatment.
Handsome Man Breaks Wind, Gets Banned from Pub
Sunday, March 25th, 2007A PUB regular has been barred from his favourite Dunfermline boozer – for indiscriminate wind breaking.
Management at the bar say Stewart Laidlaw “revels” in his bouts of flatulence and other punters have almost been sick after exposure to the foul smells.
Mr Laidlaw (35), who is furious at the ban by Thirsty Kirsty’s, is thought to be the first person in West Fife to be barred for breaking wind.
The James Street pub’s owner says the stench has become unbearable since Scotland’s smoking ban came in last year but suspects drinkers could have been breathing in the waft for years before without noticing it.
Former Woodmill High School pupil Mr Laidlaw, who lives in Edinburgh, admits he may have broken wind in the pub in the past but claims the ban by landlord John Thow is “petty”.
Stewart Laidlaw
Harvard Abstinence Group Fights Back
Friday, March 23rd, 2007Sometime between the founding of a student-run porn magazine (awesome) and the day the campus health center advertised “Free Lube,” (I’ll be in my bedroom) Harvard University seniors Sarah Kinsella (prude) and Justin Murray (blue balls) decided to fight back against what they see as too much mindless sex (what?) at the Ivy League school.
They founded a student group called True Love Revolution (blah blah blah) to promote abstinence (masterbation) on campus. The group, created earlier this school year, has more than 90 members (dorks) on its Facebook.com page and drew about half that many to an ice cream social (dork gathering).
Some feminists (bitches), in particular, have criticized True Love Revolution’s message.
Harvard student Rebecca Singh (slut) said she was offended by a valentine the group sent to the dormitory mailboxes of all freshmen. It read: “Why wait? Because you’re worth it.” (unless you’re ugly)
“I think they thought that we might not be ‘ruined’ yet (still tight),” Singh said. “It’s a symptom of that culture we have that values a woman on her purity (cherry). It’s a relic.”
Others on campus have mocked the group. Murray said his friends take pleasure in loudly, and graphically (humping motion), discussing (lying about) their sex lives just to taunt him.
“On campus there is such a strong attitude of pluralism (threesomes) and acceptance (orgies), but then it doesn’t extend to this (no one will sleep with me),” Kinsella said.
Harvard University seniors Justin Murray and Sarah Kinsella
founded the Harvard student group True Love Revolution
to promote abstinence on campus.
Tara Reid to Open Crappy Fast Food Joint
Wednesday, March 21st, 2007TARA REID seems to have completed her transformation from hellraising wildchild to responsible adult with her latest venture.
The formerly boozy American Pie starlet, who recently turned 31, is now set to open a fast food restaurant.
The new eaterie in Los Angeles is called Ketchup and opens on March 31.
But sadly you won’t catch Tara waiting on tables or serving customers.
She said: “You probably won’t see me behind the cash register. But I’ll definitely be in the kitchen making sure everything is done right.”
Tara poses with an Ewok
via The Sun
